Dilemma for Family Caregivers Everywhere

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‘Quit or get fired’ is a dilemma for many individuals in the sandwich generation. 

The constant responsibilities linked to raising your children, caring for your elder parents, and juggling a full-time or part-time career can be overwhelming.

It is a difficult choice to make between caring for your loved ones, while also being able to perform well at work and thrive in your career.  It can become exhausting which is why it is important to recognize the signs of burnout and act accordingly.

Members of the sandwich generation are often faced with challenges such as:

  • Making time to take care of yourself on a physical and emotional level
  • Balancing time with your partner or spouse 
  • Spending quality time with your children or family
  • Ensuring your aging adult gets the care they need to keep them healthy and happy
  • Performing well at work while looking for career advancement or promotion
  • Keeping up with bills and staying on budget
  • Dealing with the stress and guilt you may feel about not having the time or energy to accomplish everything

For aging adults who may have chronic or cognitive conditions, doctor’s appointments and lab tests can become overwhelming. Eventually your sick or personal days run.  The constant juggling to assist aging loved ones can put a real strain on your relationships and productivity at work. 

Studies done by Statistics Canada states that 1 in 7 caregivers reduce the hours they work. Half of them reported missed days at work in order to get their parents, kids, partners, or siblings to medical appointments. This can create a real dilemma.

Although it may sound overwhelming, those in the sandwich generation have ways to combat these dilemmas. 

Communicate your needs

Understanding yourself is an important part of being a caregiver. Being able to recognize when your daily dilemmas are taking a toll on your mental and physical health should be your number one priority.

Being able to communicate your stresses, concerns, or feelings of guilt in a safe space is important. Be sure to communicate your needs as a way to vent or a way to get advice on the challenges you are experiencing.

Talking to your parents, partner, children, or siblings is a great way to ensure everyone is on the same page and understands that you are doing the best you can. In most cases, your loved ones are willing to lend a helping hand – you just have to ask.

Share responsibilities if possible

You are not superwoman/superman! Although we may experience moments where we seem to be doing it all, it often does not last for long. It is easy to spread ourselves thin and experience anxiety, or depression when calendars get full or task lists get too long.

It is okay.

Seek help from your family who can help. If you have siblings, see if they can help with your parents’ care. Seek outside sources who are qualified and ready to help. Ask your kids or partner to help with tasks around the house – many hands make light work.

This can help lighten your load and give you some time back to rest and recharge. It’s not an easy thing to be in the sandwich generation, but taking on too much can leave you trapped in a list of challenges.

Ask for help

Enlisting help from outside sources is a sign of strength. Having the ability to recognize when you are burnt out, or realizing how different your life could be if you had a little more time is important!

At iAccompany, our founders experienced this dilemma themselves. When they could no longer provide care for their aging parents while juggling their work responsibilities they searched for a solution that fit their needs. When they didn’t find one, they created one. 

Now, iAccompany serves as an easy solution for family caregivers that need to get some time back for themselves. Our service provides accompaniment for aging adults –  a qualified nurse will accompany them to, during, and from their doctor’s appointment. 

When they are returned home safely, you will receive a full report providing the details of the meeting. With iAccompany, you do not need to leave work early, instead you can hire us at the click of a button and still be a huge part of your loved ones healthcare. 

Are you a caregiver stuck in a dilemma yourself? Visit our website and learn how we can help!

The Importance of Advance Care Planning

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On April 16 we celebrated National Advance Care Planning Day in Canada. This day is celebrated to promote conversations about your wishes and values for your future healthcare.

It is best to think about Advance Care Planning (ACP) when you are young and healthy, and have more control over your future plans. When you are young, you have the time to really reflect on what is important to you, and express to those closest to you what your aging journey looks like to you.

With ACP, you can decide if keeping your independence and aging in place is important to you, or if a long-term care home better suits your needs.

Advance care planning is all about recognizing your options early on. Of course in some instances, sickness and/or injury can happen abruptly giving you less time to consider options. That is why ACP is so important to think about when you are healthy.  You can make clear decisions on your behalf. 

Planning for your health and personal care is a way to document your wants and needs without putting people in difficult positions.

Leaving it to your family and friends is not the best idea as they are not mind-readers. What works for them or how they picture their lives as they age may not align with the values and beliefs you hold true.

Therefore, being able to communicate is crucial in making sure your aging journey plays out the way you intended. Of course there will be obstacles and roadblocks along the way, but having a general plan always makes the future path a little less scary.

It is human nature to assume we have more time. But in reality, time goes by quickly sometimes surprising us as we age.

It is good practice to plan ahead, lay out your options, and have your opinions heard. Long-term care homes or retirement homes are not for everyone – so speak your truth and discuss what is important to you personally as you begin your aging journey. 

If aging in place is your goal (and staying in your home that holds so many of your memories is the path you wish to take), let that be known! Keep documents and plan how you see your final days playing out. If it is at home surrounded by your family and friends, be comfortable with communicating that to your loved ones.

When considering your personal future, or as a family caregiver, it is important to do your research and know all your options. Many services, such as iAccompany, help support independence for aging adults, while still providing them the care they need as they age. 

With iAccompany, we give families more options when it comes to the care of their aging loved ones. If aging in place is important to you, or a family member you know, be sure to reach out to us directly at www.iaccompany.net.

You may be sitting at home thinking ‘I’m still young and healthy, why would I need to do advance care planning?’ 

Think again!

Life is unexpected. Things happen that we have no control over, but we can control how we react. Advance care planning gives your loved ones peace of mind because they will be confident that they are doing what you request. 

By communicating your needs, you allow them to make decisions on your behalf that they know you will be comfortable with – which will put them at ease in any situation.

So don’t hesitate – start thinking about your future now by reflecting and communicating what matters most to you on your aging journey. 

Asking for Help: A Sign of Strength

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Asking for help is a challenge for many people. Whether it be at work or at home, it is human nature to want to accomplish things on our own – even when it becomes overwhelming. 

We often feel like it is a sign of weakness, or we do not know how to properly articulate how someone can help effectively.

Either way, as a caregiver, the ability to ask for help is a necessity at times.

Family caregiving is a stressful and demanding job. As we get swept up in our everyday responsibilities, it is easy to forget to take a step back, to take a deep breath, and even to ask for help.

As life progresses we begin to take on new challenges often times spreading ourselves too thin. In these moments, we must check in with ourselves and recognize when our mental and physical well-being is being put on the backburner in order to fulfill our caregiving duties.

Many caregivers are not prepared for the number of responsibilities they take on as health issues can ramp up quicker than one would expect, leaving you no time to really process the extra work on your plate.

In these moments of stress, guilt, resentment, and loneliness, it is important to realize there are people and services available to help.

Here are some people you can reach out to when your caregiving responsibilities are becoming too much, or you are feeling alone. It’s OKAY to get a little extra help – we all need it sometime.

  1. Family or Friends

Your family and friends are often the people you trust the most. Usually they can tell when you are stressed or overwhelmed, however, you cannot rely o them for such insight at every turn. The ability to articulate our feelings and what we need when asking for help is an important skill.

Look to your family or friends and have open conversations with them about the responsibilities you are having a difficult time juggling. It is human nature for them to try and give you advice or try to solve your problems through conversation but that may not always be what you need. Sometimes, you may just need to vent. Their patience and listening skills may be enough to help you in that moment. Be able to communicate your needs, whether it be physical or emotional support, and then ask for help in a simple and concise way. 

  1. Care Services

In some situations the help you need goes past personal relationships and must become professional. There are many services out there to help aging adults and whether it be physical or cognitive decline – sometimes the care needed is more than you can give.

Like your personal wellbeing, it is important to understand when the next step needs to be taken and when professionals need to become involved. Asking for help should never be a sign of weakness or embarrassment, but rather a sign of strength. Recognizing the signs of decline or burnout in yourself is important, and enlisting help when you need it is imperative. Care services are often flexible and accommodating to the client’s specific needs – making it a great option to give you the peace of mind to know your loved one is safe, comfortable, and in capable hands.

  1. Support Groups

Support groups are a great way to connect with people in situations similar to yours. Whether you go and meet with people in person or visit online forums to have discussions, it is a great way to alleviate some of the stress weighing you down.

By discussing issues with like-minded individuals, you have the opportunity to vent some of your stressors. You can also appreciate the stories of other people in similar situations and learn from their experiences. They may have advice for you that can be beneficial to your situation as well. Whether you participate in the discussion or not, sometimes just knowing you are not alone in your feelings or situation is enough. 

We hope these resources can help you when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. 

Family caregiving is not an easy task, and it is often a role we take on without question or time to think about how it will affect your daily life. 

Understanding your boundaries and limitations is important in anything you do. Remember that your mental and physical health should always be your number one priority. If you are not healthy and feeling your best, you cannot help others to the best of your ability. It is as simple as that!